Thursday, January 31, 2013

When is it time to say ENOUGH is enough?

     Everyone has those days where they want to quietly crawl back into bed, and hope today just turns into tomorrow. There is not one person that doesn't have bad days, it's called life. But when is the real "breaking point" when one needs to say "enough is ENOUGH" and start to make some drastic changes? I'm sorry to say there is no definite answer. Everyone has there limits, and when the limits reach the point of cracking, that's usually when the person has to stop putting off the thinking they don't want to do and take some action. Rule of thumb, you are the only one who can make the changes for YOUR life. No one else can. People can try to control you, but they can't live your life. Start a different path if needed. 

     Lately, my life has been quite the ordeal. From my grandpa pretty much on his death bed, to a new job, to college classes, and to a roommate that doesn't seem to want to help out much, trying to balance this all has been easier said than done. I am 20 years old, and I am coming to the end of my younger years where you are supposed to "live it up, have fun and enjoy yourself." Now I am living some real life realities, living in my own place, paying bills, ya know, the simple "joys" of adulthood. But are you supposed to be THIS stressed all the time? Will have to say thank goodness I finally found myself a decent job, so once I start getting paid I won't have to worry about money as much :) But, everything else seems to be caving in a bit. From not getting enough sleep, to worrying about family, to missing my last semester of classes to trying to keep things kept up at home so I can live in a clean environment. I have been trying awfully hard to balance it all, but there comes a time when changes need to take place, when you start to hit the "fed up wall". I feel like I am turning into a slightly different person with new responsibilities on my plate, which I like and dislike. The people who I always do SO much for are disliking me more, because I am starting to look out for myself more and more. And the side of me that is within that I know needs to stand up for herself more has been present more frequently, and she is getting more violent lol. 

     Everyone reaches multiple "cracking" points before hitting the wall and breaking it down. As I watch the bricks of my very sturdy wall start to crumble, it is only a matter of short time before it comes tumbling down. Major changes and things going on? Moving, quitting, starting over, getting over feelings, mourning, thinking about the future, just to name a few. Trying to decide which ones are best for my near future? Hard. But needs to start taking immediate place. 

     I have learned over the years not to plan too far ahead, for a lot can happen in a day, week and month's time. I am waiting patiently to see how things unfold. I am keeping positive thoughts and hoping for the best :)  That is all I can do. 

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